I forgot what my father said
Starry Night - 2006
«So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die.»
Yes, i decided to choose life...
La Seine à Argenteuil (“Vanilla Sky”) 1872
Claude Monet
There was a time that limbo's appearence was a black painting, a picture of darkness without monsters or devils... an immaterial scenary.
When i was a child, i wanted to be the hero, like Batman or He-Man. In the puberty, how strange it could be, my naive dreams suffered strong mutations; my priorities were now to perform the anti-hero - assumption which quickly became the main issue. I've never had nightmares, terrifying creatures haunting me, but i also haven't had pink dreams...
Too much time lost to understand that the answer was in mirror's image.
I'm not trying to hyde myself under a narcissistic mask. It's just a or the point of view that can make the difference.
This is limbo's new look: a vanilla sky. Someone to share it? Someone to beg for it? In vain... the door is already close and locked. And i'm feeling good...
I like to be me. I'm enjoying to be me. I feel fulfilled when i'm me.
There is a new world to discover from the other side of the mirror . I've lost my fears. What about you?
Once upon a time there was a god who created the world ... (bla bla bla) ... and in the eighth day he created LIMBO. In the ninth day, god didn't create anything more because LIMBO swallowed him...
500 Millions years later (more or less), in 1981, a little kid was born. He grew and raised by the faith of Christ; he learnt that the christian god is good, leading is kingdom with wisdom and comprehension, like a father take care of a son...
Somewhere in 1996, the kid who meanwhile became a boy, decided that god was a product of his mind, a collective alucination. That was his worst mistake... The boy led his life full of anger; he could't, in his mind, fit in a world so complicated like that. He created masks to survive: happy mask when he was down (his favorite), sympathetic mask, when people that "you don't give a shit", are sad, whith or whithout a reason, etc etc etc...
By the time of his tweenties, the boy started to take consciousness about the whole picture when he saw god in the same boat he was. He realized that LIMBO's kingdom has prevailed. The boy became a big boy and ruled his destiny, embracing LIMBO [but he kept the masks (lol); they are powerfull weapons].
He didn't live happy ever after, but the anger, unexpectedly (or not) disappeared...
